as i was so excited to start blogging... i opened up my old files...and found some of my old writings that i thought i have to share it here... it was 7 years ago..and to tell the truth, what they said about ''someday you will just laugh at it...'' well, i guess it is all true... i am just laughing about all of it now...
this blog was written after my break up with my ex bf.. some how..somehow... so here it goes...
''For two days, I spent my entire working break reading, just reading. A very interesting but depressing book. It was lent to me by a new friend. And he never failed to warn/tell me, that after I finished reading it, I may feel somewhat pissed off and relieve, well, I doubt that at first. But it turned out, the hell as he expected it. “The Other Mrs. Jordan, a true story of bigamy and betrayal” a very open and honest book. And for somehow, I got my self another lesson, another story to live by, and another opportunity to stop and think and reflect. Like, Hey lady…compare to that woman, your problem is just a minuscule of something that doesn’t even exist. And compare to that woman, whatever you’re facing now, is just a day to day event that happened to every woman here on earth, so just stop being so pathetic and deal with it! What my “little baggage” is something to think about, but, not to the extent of ruining my life, because it does happened and I can’t do something about it to alter or go back to where it started, because, it will never be and it happened and then “ok, finished! Lesson learned, get up! And move my butt!”
Biggest lesson learned…this is an excerpt which is one my very favorites from what the author wrote in her book…”there is a perception of idiocy when a person has been deceived by someone they love and trust, though in fact to trust people, and particularly your lover, is completely natural. Those of us who have been deceived are made to feel stupid or embarrassed, although we have done nothing but have faith in someone who professed love.”
And I agree with that. I have done nothing, no wrongs, no mistakes, not even a single drop of something hideous that cause that someone to treat me the way he treated me. I only gave my all, my love, my respect, my trust and faith…and to what I have suffered, I don’t deserve all of it…and again, from her book she said…”Don’t hold on to the past. Life is too short to spend it looking back, so take whatever you can learn from any experiences you have and use it to help you move forward into a brighter future…” and I would like to thank Mrs. Mary Turner Thompson for that words…I’ve learned so much, she is right, even though my relationship didn’t work, I have to keep going and rebuild my life and do the things that I want to make my self happy. Memories must be left behind, it is for the past. Happy, sad memories, they are from the past. Just don’t look back, the more I dwell for somewhat that doesn’t even exist to somebody, the more I am making my self miserable. And life is too precious to waste on something that at first… a pretense, a fabricated lie, to make me believe, and to make me fill up the void that his life was missing. Yes, He betrayed me, and that makes me feel sorry for myself, I cannot help it and I don’t want to keep it, I am angry, bitter, but I am slowly composing my self and thinking what he does, he will never find happiness or satisfaction in a simple joy or whatever in his life.
I would like also to thank my friends who are always there with me, in times of my very lowest days of my life…they gave me strength, they never leave me alone, securing that I will never do another drastic things that will hurt me. With all my heart, I appreciated all the simple things they have done to make me live again, I know it will take time, as they all believed in me, I know, I will get over this, over him. And for somehow, forget that he even exists. “If you let it get you down, you go down” and I will never let that happen to me. I have a brighter future ahead of me.
And for my new found friend…thanks to you, for even though, you don’t know the whole story, you unselfishly listened and gave me some valuable information, about men and about life. And for the book, the very depressing book. Thank you so much!''
i have re read it over and over again...for that time, i have learned a lot...and with that book, remember so well, how my new friend lent it to me, he said, i might get lucky and learned..and true it was, i have learned a lot...and i am just laughing at it now...
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