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once again, i cannot sleep. i went out for sometime...i lose track of the time, i don't know till how long i was under the rain, until somebody have to take me inside... the never rain never stop, and i was just there, standing, not knowing whats happening,,, i cried and cried asking for guidance. asking for strength. i was thankful for the rain. the heaviness inside me was so dreadful, i cannot carry it anymore.

i am at my worst now. i am alone. i am miserable. i am so lost.
i am so scared. i don't know what to do. the knots inside my head are getting more and more tangled.
my heart is so much in pain that i don't know how to take it.
i am calling out God's name, help me. oh god help me.
please be there for me.